Posted by
Waski_the_Squirrel on Monday, June 16, 2008 1:47:08 AM
Kids need mothers and they need fathers. I'm not writing about abusive parents or the exceptions. I'm being general. Mothers and fathers bring different things to their children. The balance of two different parents produce healthy children.
What brings this to mind is that today is Father's Day. I was a little depressed that I could not find a suitable card for my own father. Too many were insulting. They seemed to play with the idea that "father" was inept, a clutz, or stupid. There were a few really sappy ones that were supposed to be from daughters. Since I'm male and I'm not sappy, I wasn't going to send one of those! I finally broke down and bought a blank card on Saturday (after the post office closed) and I'll write my own material into that, a bit late.
What I want to talk about today is the importance of fathers in raising children. This is not to denigrate mothers. Rather, it is to emphasize the importance of fathers.
Independence
Watch most small children when they hurt themselves or they struggle. They tend to respond with cries of "Mommy!" Mommy responds with hugs and kisses and lots of attention. Daddy is more likely to respond with, "Well, no bones broken." Though this is a bit of a stereotype, it does illustrate what fathers bring to the raising of children.
Fathers have a tendency to let children fight their own battles. As a teacher, I deal far more with mothers than with fathers. This does not mean that fathers care less. It means that they view problems differently. Fathers are good at teaching children how to take care of themselves. This is an important part of adulthood. Adults take care of themselves and only learn to do so by taking care of themselves. Sometimes, at the beginning, they fall flat on their faces. This teaches them what they did wrong and gives them an opportunity to learn from their mistakes.
Fathers teach children how to take care of themselves and how to rely on themselves.
Protection
Mothers can be quite protective of their children. While the father may say, "Well, the kid needs to study," the mother is more likely to say, "Our child is smart. That teacher is an old grouch." However, the father will protect his children when it really matters. We've all heard of the overprotective father when his daughter begins to date. However, remember that this comes from true protectiveness.
The father knows that sometimes people cannot take care of themselves. Sometimes they're too weak. It's important for children to know that someone is there to protect them.
Love
Much is made of a mother's love. We forget that fathers love as well. Fathers teach their children about one side of love. (Mothers teach the other side.) Fathers teach the type of love that involves loving someone enough to let them go. Fathers love their children so much that they allow them to fail so that they can learn. Sometimes, it takes true love to allow a person to suffer the consequences of his own choices.
Two Parents
Sometimes a father's love expects too much. Sometimes a child isn't ready. That is why a child really does need both a mother and a father. Soon I need to write about the importance of a mother's love.